The full weight of my burden.
Let me first start by saying how incredibly difficult that was. I never hid the fact that I had a lot of student debt, but it's always been so personal that I've never wanted the exact number known. Now my friends know, my family knows and even my significant other now knows too. Getting to this point was one of the worst feelings I have ever known. There are so many visceral emotions attached to every single dollar and every single cent of debt that I have accumulated.
But now that it's done, the effect is actually liberating. I finally feel like I can quit beating myself up for how I got here and just focus on moving forward.
Today was a really rough day and I just don't have much energy left for this post. I will say that I now understand just how wholly unprepared I was to make the decisions that I did when I was 18. There will definitely be future posts on this, because I hope that by writing about my mistakes I can help someone else out there from repeating them.
In the end, I made an investment in myself and I completed a challenging degree that I am immensely proud of. Now I just need to remember that I didn't accumulate this debt overnight and it's not going to go away over night.